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Last year was a tuff one for me. I lost my grandmother who meant sooo much to me. My grandmother wasn't the most healthiest person. She suffered from Diabetes, Highblood Pressure, a Detirating Leg and Conjested Heart Failure. So she was in pretty bad shape. Every since I was a little girl I was always very close to my Grandmother. We did everything together. From her helping me with homework, motivating me to graduate from school, shopping and most of all being there for my entire 9 months of carrying my son. Her 1 and only Great Grandson. She was by my side through whatever!! It's amazing how we have so little time with the people that mean the most to us. Through out the years we had together, I couldn't imagine our 19th year together would have been the worst one. On September.6,2009 @ 4:00am my Grandmother passed away in the hospital. Every since that day my life has NEVER and will NEVER be the same. To see my Grandmother suffer and I wasn't able to help her like all those years she's helped me.. I felt hopeless. I felt as if I was breatheless. So the reason I'm writing this Journal is because lastnight my Beloved Grandmother appeared right in front of me as I walked in to my bedroom. She came out of nowhere. And she's been heavy on my mind every since lastnight. My Grandmother is the reason I'm the best mom to my son CaRon and I came to school to further my education. She was and always will be my BIGGEST SUPPORT SYSTEM!

"My Bundle of Joy"

 When I was younger I always said that I wanted to be married, done with school and do all my traveling before I settle down and have children. Well, that all changed. When I was 17 yrs old in the 12th grade I became pregnant with my son CaRon. I wasn't shocked but at the same time I was very shocked. I didn't think it was TRUE. But why did I think that , because I knew what the repacutions was if I had UNPROTECTED SEX!  I was so afraid to tell my family about what had taken place. I was sooo sick and stressed because I was trying to hide what I was going through from my family. So a few weeks had passed and I finally came out and told my mom. She wasn't too excited , but she handled it way better than I had ever imagined her handling it. I was so relieved, it was like a 1000 pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But it wasn't over. I had to break the news to the rest of my mediate family, which was my Grandmother who I knew would be disappointed because she have always had faith in me when everyone else doubted me, my oldest brother, my two overly protective uncles and last but not least my judgemental Great Grandmother. This was the worst experience of my life. So finally when everyone found out I was 17 and pregnant and not done with school yet, they were hurt. But thank you God I have a very understanding family. After a few months had passed eveyone was on board that this New Addition to our family was a Bundle of Joy!! The only person that wasn't on board was my Great Grandmother.  My family describe her as a Big Unbreakable Block of Ice. She wouldn't budge! So Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my 18th Birthday and rolled around, by that time I was comfortable around family and they were all in the Loving Hoiday Spirits.Even Great Grandmother. Spring came and then June which wa my due month. I was extremely excited and very emotional by this time. I was just ready to get it all over with.  June.13,2008 I went to University Hospital to be induced to deliver my son. June.14,2008 @ 7:11p.m. The Wesley and The Embrose Family had welcomed Baby Boy CaRon Jordan Embrose. It was the most beautiful thing that I had ever experienced and I wouldn't change any of it for anything in the world! 
Ok so today was a OK day.. Kind of got some bad news that made my stomache turn. I believe that I need to make some adjustments in my ((LIFE)) meaning I need to cut some people out of my life.I got this thing where when someone do something to me I CAN'T forgive.I know I shouldn't hold grudges but i can't help it. I just don't understand why some people don't know how to love and care for other feelings. And maybe because of that I learned to LOVE from a DISTANCE... I have always heard that love was suppose to be GENTLE and SOFT..But they NEVER said , when you fall be pepared to FALL HARD and it just may HURT....



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October 2010


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